"Sam, how can you want me to tutor you ALREADY -- it's only the second day of classes!"
"It's Freshman Elvish, Frodo -- it's killing me," Sam said, dropping his heavy backpack on the floor of Frodo's dorm room. "I thought an ESL class would be easier, but it's total immersion. The professor ONLY speaks in Elvish -- I haven't understood a single word all week."
"What about the other students, Sam? Don't you think they're lost, too?"
"Some of the humans had Elvish back in high school, so they at least understand 'hello'. I don't understand ANY of it. Though I think I'm beginning to understand 'pedo' -- I think it means 'fool' 'cuz Professor Halfelven keeps pointing at me and repeating it."
Frodo smiled at his clueless friend. He wasn't sure which was more endearing -- Sam's lack of self-esteem or his lack of actual knowledge.
"'Pedo' means 'speak', Sam. He's probably asking you questions, and he wants you to answer them."
"Well there now, Frodo, see? I can't even tell when he asks questions. That's why I need your help."
"Of course I'll tutor you, Sam. I have some freetime now, if you'd like."
"That'd be great. Whatever's most convenient for you. I don't want to put you out."
Frodo smiled. He looked around, suddenly realizing that he only had one chair in his small hobbit-sized dorm room, so he asked, "Is the bed okay?" as he sat down on the edge.
"Sure," Sam said, plunking down heavily next to Frodo.
"So where would you like to begin?" Frodo asked.
Sam shrugged. "'Pedo' was a good place to start. You said it means 'speak'?"
Frodo nodded. "Yes. In Sindarin, most imperatives end in '-o'."
"Imperatives -- end in 'o'. Got it." Sam looked puzzled and then asked, "What's an imperative?"
Frodo laughed. "Don't you remember ANYTHING from grammar school, Sam?" he teased. When Sam shook his head, Frodo patiently explained, "An imperative is a command. Like 'leave'."
"Oh, okay," Sam said sadly, standing up and heading for the door.
"No, I don't want YOU to leave -- I was using that as an example." Sam returned to the bed as Frodo sighed frustratedly. "Let's just start with something easy, like articles."
"You mean like the ones Merry writes for The Palantir? He's quite good, isn't he? He's gonna make a brilliant reporter one day."
Frodo decided just to ignore Sam's off-topic rambling and continue with his lesson. "An article is a figure of speech. There are definite and indefinite articles. In Common Speech, the definite article is 'the' -- if you say 'the door', you are talking about a particular door."
"Like that door?" Sam asked, pointing to the round door of Frodo's dorm room.
"Yes. When I say, 'THE door is closed,' I'm referring to THAT door, so I'm being definite. Whereas the indefinite articles in Common Speech are 'a' and 'an' -- these are talking about SOME item, not a particular one. Like 'A door' means some door."
"But couldn't it be that door as well?" Sam asked, pointing at the door again.
Frodo nodded. "It COULD be. But we don't know, because the article is indefinite. Does that make sense?"
Sam nodded, his brain clearly trying to process the information. After a pause, he asked, "Okay, so what are the indefinite articles in Elvish."
"There aren't any."
"What?!"
"They're understood."
"Not by me."
Frodo smiled. "What I mean is that if no article is used, then it's understood that the item is indefinite. For example, I'd just say, 'I'd like sandwich', and you'd understand that I really meant 'I'd like A sandwich'."
"So would I," Sam sighed, putting his hand on his grumbling belly. "I'm starving. Maybe that's why this isn't making any sense right now."
"Would you like some tea?" Frodo asked, standing up and walking to the cupboard.
"That would be great," Sam answered.
"I'll go get some water -- I'll be right back," Frodo said, walking out into the hallway. Poor Sam, Frodo thought as he poured water from the bathroom sink into his electric kettle. He's in way over his head.
"I don't get it," Sam said as Frodo walked back inside. "Aren't you on an all-you-can-eat, 40-meal plan?" Frodo nodded, plugging in the kettle and getting some food out. "So why aren't you at the cafeteria?"
Frodo shrugged. "I always keep food in my room, just in case. You know how it is. Sometimes I just feel like eating by myself."
"Don't you get lonely?"
Frodo shook his head. "Not really. My thoughts keep me company."
"That'd sure make ME lonely," Sam said, and Frodo had to stop himself from laughing.
"Maybe what you need is a girlfriend, Sam." Sam blushed bright red and looked down at his feet, clearly embarrassed. Frodo teased, "And maybe you already have one in mind. I can't believe you've been holding out on me. Spill! That's an imperative!"
"I...uh...she...I don't wanna say anything just yet, Frodo. I don't wanna jinx it. But...yeah... there's a lass I...." He trailed off, suddenly finding his hairy toes fascinating.
Frodo laughed, handing Sam a bag of Oreos which he eagerly ripped open. "Dubba-stuh -- mah fayrut," Sam mumbled with his mouth full.
The kettle started to boil and Frodo poured the water into the cups. He didn't need to ask Sam how he took his tea -- they'd been friends way too long for him not to know that Sam was all about the milk and sugar.
He handed the cup to Sam, who took a fast swig followed by a loud "Ow!"
"It's hot," Frodo said, suddenly realizing who those warnings on the styrofoam cups were for.
Sam and Frodo ate for a moment in silence before Sam asked, "But what about you, Frodo? Do you have a lass in mind?"
Frodo shook his head. He was a romantic and an idealist, and as such he could find no girls better than the ones that existed in his stories. I want a perfect relationship, Frodo thought. I want to find that one lass who completes me, fulfills me, makes me the best I can be. The way Merry and Pippin complement each other -- that's what I want in a girl.
But he said none of this aloud; instead, he merely shrugged. "No, no one in mind."
"Well, keep looking, Frodo. I'm sure there's a perfect girl out there somewhere for you -- someone nice and smart and pretty."
Frodo smiled. Sam was so sweet and unaffected -- he truly didn't have a mean bone in his body.
"So how is school going for you?" Sam continued, and Frodo realized that he was changing the subject so that Frodo wouldn't dwell on the fact that he didn't have a girl. "Do you like your classes?"
"Very much," Frodo said excitedly. "I'm taking a lot of classes for my major this semester. I think I'm particularly gonna enjoy Intro to Metaphysics."
"Oh, I didn't know you were taking science this semester."
Frodo opened his mouth to correct him and then, changing his mind, closed it again. Sometimes it just wasn't worth the effort.
And speaking of effort....
"You know, Sam, you might want to rethink taking this Elvish class. It's five credit units, so if you were to...uh...not do well, it could completely mess up your entire schedule.
"But I GOTTA take Elvish, Frodo! I just GOTTA! I've always thought the Elves were so fascinating, and this is my chance to become more like them. PLEASE let me keep this class. With YOU tutoring me, I'm sure I'll be fine."
Frodo smiled, wishing he had Sam's confidence. But it was Sam's schedule, not his, so it was Sam's decision to make.
"You're so lucky, Frodo," Sam continued, "having an uncle like Bilbo teach you all them things when you were younger. I bet if I'D learned Elvish when I was little, I wouldn't be such an idiot as I am now."
"You're not an idiot, Sam. And you're right -- working together, we'll get you through this class. I promise." I just hope that's a promise I can keep, Frodo thought, suddenly thinking about all the responsibilities he had with The Ring.
Sam must've read his mind for he said, "Thank you, Frodo. It means so much to me that you give up your time to help me, especially when you don't have very much time to spare. You're always so generous that way, helping others." Sam's forehead crinkled as a thought came to him. "You know, you should run for Student Council."
Frodo laughed -- even for Sam, that logic made no sense. "Sam, you just said I don't have any time to spare -- why would I want to add Student Council meetings to my list of things to do?"
"Because helping people's what you're best at, Frodo. And if you were on Student Council, you could help LOTS of people all at once. Just think -- you could help make policies about all kinds of stuff: housing, grade point averages, the cafeteria, even work opportunities. And you'd be really good because you'd always put the student body FIRST. You could really make a difference, Frodo. Even the smallest person can change the course of MEU."
Frodo smiled. To others, Sam's speech might've sounded like he was scheming, trying to get his friend on Student Council just so he could reap the benefits himself. But Frodo knew that Sam wasn't smart enough to be manipulative -- he was speaking from the heart, and what he said filled Frodo with pride.
I DO like helping others. And I WOULD put the student body first.
And people like Sam DO need a voice in student government. A representative who will stand up for THEIR rights, not just the rights of the rich sorority brats. Someone who's willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good.
And that someone should be me.
"Frodo?" Sam asked, and Frodo suddenly realized that Sam had been talking to him.
"I'm sorry, Sam. What?"
"I asked what you thought about running for class rep."
Frodo nodded. "I'm seriously thinking about it."
"Well, don't think TOO long -- petitions have to be in by tomorrow morning."
Frodo smiled. "Thanks, Sam. I appreciate your encouragement."
"I'm only trying to repay all the encouragement you've given ME over the years. I never would've made it through Mr. Nutmeg's geography class without your help."
"Speaking of help," Frodo said, taking the empty cup and half-eaten bag of Oreos from Sam and putting them on his desk. "We should probably get back to our Elvish lesson."
"Oh, I can't," Sam said, glancing at Frodo's clock radio. "I have to get to work. Can we set up something for tomorrow, maybe? I don't know my work schedule yet, but the only class I got tomorrow is my eight o'clock Elvish."
"That's lucky," Frodo teased.
Sam shrugged as he picked up his heavy backpack. "My Tuesday-Thursdays are really busy -- I had to do my schedule like that so I could work longer hours."
Frodo nodded in understanding. Poor Sam!
"I'm free from eleven to three-thirty tomorrow," Frodo said, glancing at his class schedule, which he still didn't have memorized quite yet. "Just let me know when you want to meet." Frodo opened the door for Sam as he said, "And just don't forget what you learned today."
"'Pedo' -- 'speak'. I'll remember." Sam started to go and then turned back around, a happy grin on his face. "Frodo, I'm speaking ELVISH."
"Yes you are, Sam," Frodo smiled as he shut the door.
***
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